30
Oct 14

Facts About Me #Blogtober14

Let’s get right down to it, shall we? Here are some facts about me you may or may not know.

  1. Marisa is my middle name.
  2. I believe nachos are an appropriate meal any time of day.
  3. I love beer. All of it. Fancy beers, cheap beers, cold beers, and room temperature beers that have been sitting open for a couple of hours.
  4. If I drink wine, it’s red wine. Never white. White wine is like sad Sprite.
  5. I have verifiable proof that liquor is the devil’s juice. I’m not above drinking some whiskey every now and again though.
  6. An open window can change my whole outlook on life. Sunshine and fresh air are the best.
  7. I am way over-educated. I’m not bragging. I just want to proclaim how much money has been wasted on my brain.
  8. I love all dogs. I’m really afraid of all cats.
  9. I prefer black coffee to all other caffeinated drinks.
  10. I’m slowly convincing my boyfriend we need a pet pig. Maybe in another 4 years, I will have worn him down.
  11. French fries are my religion. New and interesting dipping sauces are the sacraments.
  12. Regardless of what I’m doing, I’d rather be reading.
  13. I have very flat feet. And two titanium screws in the left one!
  14. I still love to wear heels though.
  15. Nothing scares me like job interviews.
  16. I really want to buy a Jeep. This might happen soon. You’re aware of my car situation.
  17. Once I break a rule, I feel immune to the consequences. If, somehow, I’m caught and have to experience the consequences, I consider it an isolated incident, and continue on my sociopathic ways.
  18. I carry a planner at all times. (With multiple colored felt tip pens and washi tape, of course.)
  19. I want to start a publishing company someday. I have a business plan.
  20. I might need a Ph.D. (Ignore point 7.)
The Daily Tay

Marisa Mohi


29
Oct 14

Most Embarrassing #Blogtober14

It’s October 29, which means I’ve gone 29 straight days blogging. Not to mention the posts I write for The Lost Ogle, or all the writing I do at my day job. You will be unsurprised to know that my fingertips are currently bleeding.

Today’s post is about my most embarrassing moment. This is hard for two reasons.

  1. I don’t want to share my most embarrassing moment because it’s embarrassing.
  2. Every waking moment is embarrassing for me. I live in a constant state of shame, so it’s hard to choose.

That having been said, there is one thing that I’m insanely embarrassed of. And it’s not a moment, so much as a poem–printed in indelible ink in the back of my high school yearbook. I have no idea why no one stopped me from writing this. I have no idea why no one told me I should not submit it to the yearbook. I have no idea why I STILL, TO THIS DAY, think of it and cringe.

I blame my mother for this mostly. But that’s because she has always been a fan of my work–even when I was in high school and totally didn’t deserve fans OMG MA WHY WERE YOU TRYING TO ENCOURAGE THIS CRAP?!

yearbook_poem

Anyway, know that when I wrote this garbage, I had been reading a lot of fantasy and Arthurian stuff. (There’s a “senior salute” in the back of the yearbook to me where my parents refer to me as their “Evenstar” BECAUSE THEY WERE JUST SO COOL WITH ME BEING UNCOOL. Sorry Mom and Dad-but your plans to make me remain a virgin for life were foiled long ago!) I used the blur tool in Photoshop on this poem until I was blue in the face but you can still read it. ANOTHER EMBARRASSMENT: I can’t properly use Photoshop to save my life. Just know that even though I took this photo and shopped it for a good 15 minutes, I still was unable to read the poem all the way through because it causes me physical pain.

Anyway, this got me to thinking about other people’s most embarrassing moments, and other writers who cringe at the crap they used to churn out before they knew better. And as luck would have it, I used to work at a vanity press, which, for all intents and purposes, was a factory that churned out this crap.

A lot of the clients we handled were teens who had written novellas, and their parents paid $4,000 to publish their book. I think that’s more embarrassing. Because you know that kid walked into their first college creative writing class with that thing to show the professor, and God willing, that professor made that kid cry. Everyone needs to learn the lesson that just because Mom and Dad think it’s great doesn’t make it great.

No offense, Mom. I appreciate your encouragement always. But sometimes you should be a little more discerning. I’ve written some pretty awful things. Seriously, how is my existence not on your most embarrassing list?

The Daily Tay

Marisa Mohi