When you don't have the energy for introspection

One of the big things I like about reading blogs is getting a glimpse into the heads of others. I’m not big on fashion blogs or recipe posts, but I love posts about travel and the way people felt in a certain space. I love posts where people detail how they lay out their planner. Do you have a kickass morning routine? I WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. Do you have an even kickasser nighttime routine? I WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT EVEN MORE. Maybe I’m a voyeur, but I really like slice-of-life posts and looking into someone else’s world.

Naturally, the stuff I gravitate toward tends to be more introspective. I like feelings and thought processes. And I’d like to be the sort of blogger that can always bring that to the table.

But here’s the thing.

I can’t.

Lately, I just feel tired. All I do is count down the hours until I can go home and sit on my couch and read the internet while my dog snores loudly next to me. All I do is zone out so I don’t have to be aware of the time I’m spending doing something other than watching TV with Chris. I haven’t been doing a very good job of taking stock of my life lately, and I haven’t picked up my journal in months.

The reasons for this are many. Burn out without a break makes one a little dull around the headspace. So while I’m slowly coming out of this weird brain funk, I’m still a little too tired to think properly.

What I’m saying is that I don’t have the energy to be introspective right now, and that’s okay.

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Instead, I’m spending my energy on other productive things, mainly in hopes that they will keep propelling me forward. I’ve tried using sleep and Netflix to get my head right, and all that does is make my anxious. So instead I’ve been lugging my camera around. I’ve gone to a great antique store, and I’m planning a reading date where I just take myself to a coffee shop where I can finish a good book. I’ve learned that I need to make productive downtime a staple in my life.

I've learned that I need to make productive downtime a staple in my life. Share on X

And maybe I’ll even start writing posts about the various self-care routines I’m trying to make habits. We could all probably use healthier ways to keep our heads right. And maybe I’ll come up with a self-care habit that will work great for you.

Until then, I’ll keep chugging along, reading the introspective posts from other bloggers and looking forward to the day when I’m more aware of the thoughts and feelings in my own head.

10 Responses

  1. Yes! I totally understand this. In the months postpartum I was in such a fog from late 2014-early 2015. I wanted to write but couldn’t figure out *how* and because my blog is open to the world I couldn’t exactly write everything that was in my head without consequence. I finally focused on just taking life photos to get the creative juices flowing again. It helped immensely.

    I too like those peeks into life blogs, youtube, IG…etc. 🙂 I’m not so great about doing it because I often think my routines are booorring.

    1. No routine is boring! For some reason, I’m obsessed with how people go about their everyday lives. And I know what you mean about not being able to write it all out on the blog. There are so many things I want to say, but worry I’ll never have friends or a job again.

  2. I blame the summer heat. Sitting around thinking deep thoughts seems more like a winter activity. Cozy sweaters next to a fire and a hot cup of something seems to lend itself better to being introspective. When it’s 101, there is nothing wrong with a little zoning out and letting your head be empty.

    1. Maybe that’s totally what it is. I love reading deep and meaningful literature in the winter, but in the summer I just want to read chick lit. I never thought that maybe the season and the weather were the mental block here, but it totally makes sense!

  3. Girl, I get ya. PRODUCTIVE DOWNTIME. What an accurate way of putting it. I think one can also overdo introspection and as with many things, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.

    1. It’s so true. I think sometimes I wear myself out on it, and maybe that’s why I have no energy for it right now.

  4. I think Stephanie is onto something – there ARE seasons to living. I will say that I found myself depressed about 6 months ago, nothing serious, but I could tell because I wanted to zone out playing some stupid game, watch endless hours of netflix or read insipid books. I didn’t realize it then, but diet and exercise were off and I just wasn’t in my groove. Things feel MUCH better (but you won’t like this – I had to ditch popcorn all together…) Just make sure you are OK and it isn’t something more serious.

    1. That is very good advice. I’ve been on such an erratic diet this summer with my weird work schedule and inability to stay consistent have pretty much destroyed my chemical balances. I really need to clean up my food.

  5. Marisa,

    If we were having coffee, first I’d try to get away with ordering some type of specialty Latte, Like a Hot White Mocha, or maybe just a regular Caramel Latte “Whole Milk, Extra Syrup, and Whip Cream”- If I didn’t have an option for a specialty drink, I’d just have a regular coffee with milk and tons of sugar.

    If we were being completely honest over coffee:
    1. I’d spill about the awesome guy I am currently dating.
    2. How I spent way too much money this month and how that screwed me over a tad bit
    3. How I’d like to rekindle my relationship with my best friend of 10+ years 🙁
    4. How I really need to go back and finish school
    5. In order to finish school I need to finish paying off my loan to get my transcript released to transfer schools and reset my GPA
    6. I tried this Flat Tummy Tea diet at the beginning of the summer and attempted to change my eating habits to get rid of my tummy fat, and it was an EPIC fail, the tummy persists.
    7. I’d also say that I’ve had major issues with my parents, my father was nonexistent and now we are getting to a place where we are trying to build some sort of relationship, he lives in another state, so its a big challenge for both of us. As for my mom, Ive realized that I need to step back from our relationship in order for us to experience true growth.

    Before I keep on rambling,
    I’ll end it here.


    1. Damn, girl. You do have some stuff to talk about over coffee!

      First, let me say there is nothing wrong with liking a cup of coffee that tastes more like a Snickers bar than coffee. And congrats on the new guy. That’s awesome!

      Also, good luck on finishing school. It can be so tough, and there are always so many obstacles in the way. But once you’re done, it’s yours forever.

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