You know that there are stop gaps, right? Kill switches? Terms and conditions? Harnesses? Whack-a-mole hammers that keep you down where you belong? This is why you have to stop being your own safety net.

Stop Being Your Own Safety Net

Original photo byAshley Bean

I’m not saying you should skydive without a parachute. I’m not saying you should seek out adrenaline. (If you’re like me, it’s coursing through your anxious body at all times anyhow.) But what I’m saying is that you gotta stop doing what other things are already doing to you.

You gotta stop being your own safety net.

That ain’t your job.

You gotta stop being your own safety net. That ain't your job. Share on X

Restraint is important. Don’t get me wrong. You shouldn’t go home with that mysterious stranger from the bar on a whim. Honestly, there are better ways to end up dead in a ditch. You shouldn’t tell your boss to fuck off. (I mean, unless you can say your life will be better for having done so. But getting fired in a spectacular way is generally inadvisable.) You shouldn’t quit your day job with no plan or skills or idea of what will happen next. (I know that it’s real popular for folks on the internet to tell you to do that though.)

You just have to stop being your own safety net. You have to quit telling yourself that you can’t do something. You have to stop listing reasons why what you want isn’t possible. You have to stop counting the blessings that, at the end of the day, aren’t really blessings. You have to stop doing what you think you’re supposed to do just because you think you’re supposed to do it.

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When you’re dead in the ground, you’re not going to be remembered as a martyr. You’re not going to be remembered as that person who always did the “right thing” even if it wasn’t what they wanted. You’re not going to get some sort of posthumous award for never trying to achieve a thing.

Because when we’re dead in the ground, most of us won’t be remembered. Sure, your family might remember you. But for how many generations? Not a lot.

So, with that in mind, you should stop holding yourself back. Do the thing! Try the thing! Look the odds square in the eye and tell them that you don’t care!

(Just so we’re clear: You’re supposed to be here. If it ain’t yours, don’t carry it. Knock on the damn door. And you ain’t got fucks in the fuck bucket for safety netting.)

Live your life. Whatever that looks like. And to do that, you’re going to have to stop being your own safety net.

Live your life. Whatever that looks like. And to do that, you're going to have to stop being your own safety net. Share on X

Don’t pull your punches.

Don’t hedge your bets.

Don’t construct elaborate backup plans just in case.

Make the jump. Those stop gaps and kill switches and whack-a-mole hammers we talked about? They’ll do plenty to keep you down. But at least you won’t be doing it to yourself. And if you do it once, it gets easier the next time to jump. And since you’re not being your own safety net, you aren’t expecting to fall.

6 Responses

  1. As much as you (LITERALLY HATE *tm) Sean Penn he risked his life doing that interview. Waz ya havin a bad day?

    1. Hi “David!” I’m sorry you didn’t understand the overall message of my post, but I do appreciate that you read my blog and hang on every word I tweet. And while this blog is free and open to everyone to read, I think maybe you’re wasting your time here. You’re always welcome to read, but I would like to encourage you to find a blog that caters more toward your interests. I think that would be more fulfilling for you.

      See you around Norman!

      1. You did not adress my question and were extremely condescending. Should I just go to an echo chamber? Your rant was misguided and hateful. He risked his life and life of his family and friends. You hate it but what if a mexican had done it? Would you still rant about the quality of the book? And I’m genuinely curious were you having a bad day?

        1. People who use burner gmail accounts and variations of a school shooting survivor’s name aren’t looking to have genuine conversation. I owe you nothing. This is my space on the internet and I determine how I use it. Any of your comments after this point will be deleted. Have a nice day.

  2. Once again, great blog. I often feel that time is of the essence when time is applied to short-term goals that are not even my personal goals such as finishing a book for book club discussion or completing a task from work. Thanks for reminding me to be brave and follow my personal goals!

    1. It’s so easy to only follow deadlines that others give you. But I’m slowly learning to give myself deadlines on the stuff that I want to do.

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